Rini MathewSaying ‘Yes’ OR ‘No’ to yourself at the right time and right place saves not only you but also others. Being decisive is a quality found seldom in people these days. Well, well, well… think deeper before you pass a comment or a judgment on what you read just now. Self-care has become a necessity these days and people have to be taught when and where to care for themselves
It has a connection to self-care and this article would also divulge on a few overt factors unfurling the obstacles which stop you from taking care of yourself. These obstacles resemble knocking everybody else’s door when yours is badly in need of attention and repair!
I have heard people say ‘Oh why should I waste so much time on self-care?’
‘It wouldn’t be appropriate when I shoulder so many responsibilities!’
‘What will they think?’
‘I am very simple and I don’t need all this’
‘Oh that’s too much and is a luxury’
Sorry, I can only tell “It’s all crap so wrap it up”! When will one learn to unlearn and relearn from this wrong attitude??? Yes… When life gets out of control and somebody else takes your driver’s seat.
Though the pace and time vary from person to person self-learning is a genuine strategy. Articles, vlogs, blogs, speech, all serve to give tips and ideas on self-care because it’s so very important and would solve many problems. But failure in ineffective execution is what makes people randomly search for topics such as self-care.
Still why do people take a lot of time to implement all the tips????
That is where you ought to self-mentor and absorb the significance of self-care. Well, here too choice and decision plays a key role.
Right attitude and practice
Right attitude is the first step to effective self-caring habits. Do not be complacent within your own comfort zone of repeating the same monotonous tasks every day when you know that this schedule won’t spare much time for self-care. Why do you purposely drive yourself into a slushy and muddy ditch and then choose/not choose to whine for help???
You can genuinely show importance to others only when you give importance for yourself. To practice the tips and strategies that you read and hear, you need to set some time apart for yourself. So there comes the right attitude.
So the first step is to be unavailable to all others except you.
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Listen Carefully
A slight alteration in your style is required to begin caring for yourself. This may disrupt your schedule and erupt a lot of discouragement. Listen to both encouraging and discouraging sides and give ‘courage’ to yourself to move forward with self-care without turning back. But remember to not offend or cause inconvenience to anyone. If your self-caring methodology genuinely causes discomfort to somebody, you need to introspect and make the necessary alteration but not stop the routine!
People abruptly begin new habits and also stop the same without a second thought. What about all the strength and energy you gathered to begin this process? And you need a lot of enthusiasm to care for yourself. A dip in the same would not give the desired results.
It is necessary to listen to your inner being. You have no idea of how powerful your intuition is. Do not neglect it. Speak to yourself and empower the mind to consistently lean on the self-care routine. Be your own judge, counselor and mentor. It is absolutely fine to listen repeatedly to oneself and to your loved ones on self-caring patterns. This is how you begin to inculcate the routine and eventually it becomes a part of you.
Do not be Judgemental
Please refrain and avoid passing comments by being judgmental on others. You have the slightest of knowledge on what and how the other person is. Oh yes, appearance is mostly deceiving!!
Nail this line.
People project only a part of what they are and it is not their fault. We all are part of a society and a family so we are expected to carry ourselves in a certain manner. But this is not an excuse to violate step three towards self-care. Those who care for themselves should not be judged in their absence or presence. Respect priorities and begin to list your own if you haven’t!
Situations and circumstances may look similar from outside and people tend to draw inferences which may totally not match the reality. This could damage a person, a family or even a society.
Those who don’t have priorities in life have lot of time to comment, judge and score on others opinions. Now priorities are totally different from promises. Be careful to not mix up both and make a broth which will eventually drench you in utter chaos.
Also read Top popular inspiring quotes for mental health
Choose the right activity
Now that you have the right attitude and minimum presumptions, time to choose a few activities from the ocean of choices.
A lot of informative websites, resources and links share several effective remedies on self-care. Make the choice. All do not and will not be your resolver but indeed turn out to be a ‘revolver’ if not chosen wisely. I come across many who take wrong choices and try doing everything to end up in self-destruction instead of self-care.
All the strategies are important but begin with a starter and then opt for a full course meal. First, choose what is palatable to your system and requirements. Ensure that the ‘starter’ you choose is digested well before you proceed further. Definitely, you will notice an impeccable change then. Every resource on self-care aims at making lifestyle better so first cross-check on your life and style before you pick on your platter.
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Stress and strain
“What’s the big deal???
Yeah work till you bleed. Work for a livelihood. It’s fine, it’s eating my brains but I have to do it!!!!
I don’t like being there but I have to!”
You HAVE TO??
What instills stress here? Your work or your choice??
What’s the big deal if you simply don’t do everything? Conditions are laid by us who misleads us to take wrong conclusions. We still prolong with someone or something stressful because we think we are devoid options. Where there is a will there will definitely be a way, and so is the way for self-care!
Do not set boundaries and confirm to regularities. Sometimes it is advisable to think beyond and to forward, pause, replay, stop at certain points in life. As long as you are happy with what you do, nothing would practically give you stress but only strength to encounter the task. If not happy, do not procrastinate just quit from the stressful part before life quits you. Self-care is a process and then it has to settle as a regular routine.
Refrigerate your thoughts and life?
A refrigerator prevents something from becoming stale but does not increase its life. Indeed, it gets an extended life when refrigerated.
One goes through refrigeration on becoming stale and spoilt without finding space and time for self-care. Everything comes to a halt but still nothing stinks because it is frozen!!
It is up to you to prolong this expired stuff causing indigestion to your life. There will be many to give advice pretending to add colour and fragrance to your personal life but none to clean the ‘refrigerator’ of insipid contents.
When you care less for your own self and be in a delirium running a marathon for money, luxury, comfort, family, your inner self is turning stale and getting spoilt. It becomes unfit for use and at times is hardly noticeable. It is that dangerous and damaging!
Stay away from overwhelming
Have you come across people who care too much for you? Yes we all are happy floating in air when someone sprays so much of care and concern checking on why, how and what you do.
If such care is encroaching your space and personal life please stay away from such people. They aren’t really concerned about you but are controlling you for some reason.
They would also be showing care by talking ill about your friends, family or colleagues projecting themselves as your guardian angel to save you from a hell to a paradise prepared by them. It is only a show case!
Surrounding yourself with the right people is essential to self-care.
Do constantly keep a check on such characters and it’s not worth sharing your daily plans and life with them. They won’t have their own opinions or is rather incapable of it, consistently struggling to camouflage to fit into any body’s circle!
If you notice they devour other’s time and evade the necessity to care for themselves or others. They persuade people to embrace them. And when you lack confidence in yourself, no doubt, you will fall into such people’s trap. You can never see such people when they are busy or engrossed in some serious work. They appear only when they are free and you have lot of work!
Smile and spread joy
Plastic smiles are common these days and they don’t help in self-care. Smile and spread smile. Relax and light your face with this magical curve even when things fall apart amidst your tears. Everything around will heal and conspire to work well with you.
People pretend to be happier. Stay away from appearing to be happy but feel it even in the smallest of things. Do not simply believe that all are trustworthy with blind faith on anyone. We all are humans and we all have flaws. Never take anything or anyone for granted and this is a safe precaution to maintain your mental balance towards self-care.
Responsibility and a reflection
Did you know that self-care is a short summary on your reflection and response to life?
It constitutes discipline, a change of structure in your life, modification of a few beliefs etc. As you begin your journey with self-care, your outlook on life will change and so you reflect an energy which would inspire those around.
It is a responsibility and would define a new radiance to one’s style or living. When you feed your body and mind with the best, it will also mirror the best reflection of yours to the world.
In a nutshell (you should crack it!)
Now that you have read all the key factors to self-care you are equipped with the instruments to use it wisely.All these points are chained to each other and as you habituate an effective routine in self-care, all the factors are essential for a good output.
Self-care instills a RIGHT ATTITUDE to LISTEN attentively to your inner self which will avoid unnecessary JUDGEMENTS on others. This in turn gives you the right choice of ACTIVITIES over confusion to avoid any sort or STRESS AND STRAIN which may REFRIGERATE yourself while neglecting self-care.
An indulgence in self-care keeps AWAY the over whelming ‘helplines’ so that you can SMILE at your own expense and spread it to all around. And you will be simply happy to experience a different perspective on life and REFLECT the best version of you!
